Is what you feel, you really feel?

i wish i can take a glimpse into my future to see what is in store for me, so that i can change whatever i that i think is not good. Like what i feel previously may not be what i feel now.

Feeling is a scary thing. Feeling can be turned off just like that. It's like the feeling is no longer there. You may feel that there is... at times, but the truth, deep inside you no longer care if there is

I do wish there is some sort of miracle, i could make. But sometimes it takes a lot of hard work to make it happen.

I just pray that when things do come to the worse, i will be able to handle it. No matter what i must.

knock knock you there?

Sometimes we all feel like,we wanted to express what we feel deep inside, but people tends to ignore or just don't bother. If you try talking, they just pretend, or just don talk it at all. I think that is why blogs are created. If you cant say what you feel, you can just write it down.

Yet we all live in a world where ICT are greatly innovated it is just said to say, some people don't even want to hear what you want to say, or some people just don't want to talk about it. Even when they don even need tech stuff.

It's like they are shutting you out of their doors, and sometimes you wonder if it's eating you day by day. Sometimes you can put a smile, but you don't really feel that way. Since we are all pretending to be happy. So why not just continue on with the show. I don't even care the fuck about what they are doing. If they talk, then just talk.. if don why bother right.

Or maybe they thought i don have any feeling. Cause i don't. I m dead anyway.

Blender

Blender is a 3d animation tool. I am trying to get a grasp on how blender works. One thing great about it, is it is a free animation software compared to 3d Studio max and maya.

Many when first use blender may thinks that it is not that user friendly. The interface is quite complicated for newbies, but you should check out blender can perform a really great 3D environment.

I hope by this few weeks i will be able get know of how the lighting works. I explored the modeling part, it's quite okay. I can't wait to go to the animation, and particles part. I hope it won't be that hard as i assume.

check out www.blender.org, the new version is available : 2.43

memories of the past

I still remember clearly back in the days, where life is so much simple. We don't have to think of a lot of things. Cellphones and pc are not part of our lives, there is no Digi and Maxis banging our ears.

Back then, we are still ignorant, still a fresh fruit waiting to step in the world we thought it would be like how it would be in our mind. But never imagine it would turn out so differently.

It was like i couldn't wait to go to a local university. i painted it so colorful in my mind, and i thought it would be like those in the u.s. movie. When i got there. It was really not what i imagined it would be. But in the end there is no regrets, cause i found something more precious than gold along with wonderful memories with my fellow friends. Thinking back, i really missed walking half an hour from my dorm to my faculty even though back then i was fed up of walk (someone please fetch me)

i missed those days.. i wished i could have enjoy and done more when i was there. But there was something pulling me back. I appreciate everyone who cared about me and help me out when i was there, though i could never repay them much back, ever.

Life is as it is. There had been a lot of downs in my life for the past few years. Bu t this year, it had been a blaze.. ok im exaggerating, but things are fine for now. I've gone through some bulky road, insult and got insulted by people, hurting people's feeling, playing the game of love.

about me

My name is Valerie Thang. I am born in Catcity(Kuching) in Sarawak.

My hobbies are listening to music (pop, rock, alternative, hip hop..etc), internet(chatting, surfing, doing useless stuff on the net),watching movies/tv, sleeping, sketching, painting, animation(3D), shopping (clothes, shoes, bags), sports (badminton, swimming, squash, bowling).

So far, my life right now is going quite smooth, but there are always ups and downs and rocky along the way.